It’s easy to get caught up in the grand gestures of love and romance to celebrate Valentine’s Day, couples share romantic dinners, exchange expensive gifts and those who plan to take the next step perform magnificent, YouTube worthy proposals, all in an attempt to express their love and gratitude.
But what is really important, is maintaining a healthy relationship and keeping the love and desire alive for the long haul, not just one day a year.
The Centre’s own Connie Leclair, Counselling Manager, shares some insight on how to keep the love alive and desire burning with these 5 tips:
1. Understand what your partner considers love to be: “We tend to be very aware of what we like and assume our partner likes the same,” Connie says of the common disconnect. It is important to know what your partner likes; instead of reflecting your own wants and needs on them, ask yourself what you can do to make the relationship good, fun, sexy, exciting etc. for them
2. It is our responsibility to turn ourselves on: Keep a positive mindset, focus on what feels good and the positive things about your partner not small things that might annoy you. “It’s up to us to turn toward the relationship and not away from it,” says Connie.
3. Find opportunities to be around your partner at their best: whatever it might be, spending time around your partner when they are at their best will remind you of the reasons you love them and why you are attracted to them, making you both feel good about the experience.
4. Keep the balance between intimacy and mystery: desire needs mystery! You don’t have to share every moment of your personal grooming secrets. “People are so intimate in their daily lives, that it’s a little too revealing,” Connie explains. “Maintaining an open and honest relationship is crucial, however, mixing up routines can help keep things exciting and feel new.”
5. Don’t wait to get help: most couples wait years before seeking help, this is often too late leading to separation or divorce. The sooner you get help the more likely problems can be resolved and you can continue your happiness together.