How to keep your relationship strong while raising kids
Life with kids is busy—really busy. Between sleepless nights, school drop-offs, meal prep, and keeping up with endless activities, it can feel like there’s barely a moment to breathe. Somewhere in the chaos, you and your partner—once the couple who went on spontaneous dates and had long conversations over coffee—are now more like co-managers of a household. Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Raising children is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it also changes the dynamic of a relationship. Priorities shift, responsibilities grow, and time together can become limited. But, maintaining a strong partnership isn’t just good for you—it sets a healthy example for your children, too.
Here are some ways to nurture your relationship while navigating the demands of parenting.
Make time for each other
With so many responsibilities, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. But just as you schedule doctor’s appointments and school events, prioritizing time with your partner is equally as important.
Schedule regular check-ins. Set aside 15 minutes each day to connect without distractions—a great time for this could be before bed. Ask how your partner’s day was, talk about what’s on your mind, and truly listen to what your partner is saying.
Plan date nights. Whether it’s a dinner out, a quiet evening at home, or a morning coffee date, find ways to spend quality time together that’s consistent.
Lean on your support system. Reach out to family, friends, or babysitters to help with childcare so you can have uninterrupted time as a couple.
Communicate openly and often
Parenting is full of decisions, both big and small. When communication breaks down, stress and frustration build up. Keeping an open dialogue with your partner helps strengthen teamwork and reduces tension.
Check in frequently. Talk about how you’re feeling and ask your partner what they need and how you can help.
Discuss parenting differences. You won’t always agree on every decision, and that’s okay. Validate each other’s perspectives and try to find common ground.
Express appreciation. A simple “thank you” for handling bedtime or “I love you” during a busy day can go a long way in keeping your emotional connection strong.
Divide responsibilities fairly
Resentment can grow when one person feels like they’re carrying more of the parenting load. Creating a fair balance of responsibilities helps prevent frustration and strengthens teamwork.
Take turns with tasks. Whether it’s bedtime routines, meal prep, or school pickups, share the workload as equally as possible.
Follow through on commitments. If you say you’ll handle something, make sure you do it—this builds trust and prevents unnecessary conflicts.
Talk about what’s working (and what’s not). If something feels unbalanced, have an open conversation and adjust as needed. If you talk about it early on and don’t let it build, it’ll be easier to address and correct the issue.
Keep intimacy alive
Between exhaustion and busy schedules, maintaining physical and emotional intimacy can be challenging. But small, meaningful gestures help keep the spark alive.
Show affection daily. A hug, a gentle touch, or a kind word throughout the day can strengthen your connection.
Make time for closeness. Even if you’re too tired for a full date night, sharing a quiet moment together after the kids go to bed can help you reconnect.
Express gratitude. Let your partner know you appreciate them—even for the little things.
Setting positive examples for your children
Kids learn about relationships by watching their parents. By modeling open communication, mutual respect, and affection, you’re teaching them valuable lessons about healthy relationships.
Resolve conflicts respectfully. Show your children that disagreements can be handled with calm discussions—conflict doesn’t need to always end in arguments.
Talk about values. Having open conversations as a family about what your values are can help strengthen not only your relationship, but the family dynamic as a whole.
Prioritize connection. Demonstrate that a strong relationship takes effort and commitment from both parties.
Recognizing when you need support
Sometimes, despite best efforts, couples struggle to stay connected. If communication is breaking down, conflicts are increasing, or you feel distant from each other, it may be time for extra support. Counselling can provide a safe space to navigate challenges, talk openly about your feelings, and learn tools for strengthening your relationship. Reach out today to learn more about how we can help!
Information for this blog post was provided by registered social worker, Ty Larner.