What parents might miss: How boys show they’re struggling
We often think we’d know if our kids were struggling. But when it comes to boys, mental health challenges don’t always look the way we expect.
While boys experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues at similar rates to girls, the signs can be harder to spot. That’s because boys are often taught to hide their emotions, or they express them in ways that don’t look like we may expect.
Here are five signs your son might be struggling; even if he says he’s “fine.”
1. He’s pulling away from things he used to enjoy
If your son suddenly loses interest in hobbies, sports, or spending time with friends, it could be more than just a phase. Withdrawal is a common sign of emotional distress.
2. He’s more irritable or angry than usual
Instead of crying or talking about feeling sad, boys often express emotional pain through frustration or anger. If your son seems more reactive or easily upset, it might be worth checking in.
3. His sleep or eating habits have changed
Mental health challenges can show up physically. Is he sleeping more than usual? Skipping meals? Staying up all night gaming? These shifts can be signs that something deeper is going on.
4. He’s shutting down
Some boys go quiet when they’re overwhelmed. If your son is not as chatty, avoids eye contact, or seems emotionally distant, it could be his way of coping with stress or sadness.
5. He’s trying to be “perfect”
Not all signs of struggle look negative. Some boys cope by overachieving - trying to be the best at school, sports, or social activities. If your son seems unusually hard on himself, he might be feeling pressure to prove his worth.
What you can do
Start small. Ask open-ended questions like “How are you feeling lately?” or “What’s been on your mind?”
Avoid judgment. Skip phrases like “you’re overreacting.” Instead, validate his feelings.
Be present. Create space for conversation — during a drive, over dinner, or while doing something together.
Know when to get help. If your son’s behavior changes significantly or lasts more than a few weeks, consider reaching out to a counsellor. Remember mental health is just as important as physical health.
Early support can make a big difference. The more we understand how boys express emotional pain, the better we can show up for them.
One in five teens experiences a mental health challenge, and many of them show signs before the age of 14. The earlier we notice and respond, the better the outcomes.
You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up, staying curious, and letting your son know he’s not alone. And if you need help, we’re here. Our counsellors can help your child gains the skills to handle challenges and express what they’re feeling – reach out today.
Information for this blog was provided by registered psychologist, Lisa McIsaac. Learn more about our counsellors.