Understanding trauma: it’s not just the “big” things
When we hear the word “trauma,” it’s easy to picture the most extreme and visible events - war, natural disasters, car accidents, or physical violence. Those experiences can absolutely be traumatic, but they don’t tell the whole story. Trauma isn’t defined only by what happens to you; it’s defined by how what happened impacts you.
At its simplest, trauma occurs when the demands of a situation exceed your perceived ability to cope. That “perceived” part matters. Two people can go through the exact same experience and have very different responses. For one person, an event might pass without lasting impact; for another, it could deeply disrupt their sense of safety and well-being.
This means that trauma isn’t limited to the big, obvious moments. Emotional neglect, bullying, chronic stress, or feeling unsafe over a long period of time can be just as impactful. These experiences might not make headlines, but they can leave long-lasting emotional injuries.
Why comparison doesn’t help
Many people minimize their experiences because they believe “others have had it worse.” While it’s true that suffering exists on many levels, comparing your pain to someone else’s doesn’t make yours less real. Trauma is deeply personal. If something left you feeling unsafe, powerless, or unsettled, it matters. You don’t need to “earn” the right to talk about it or measure it against someone else’s story.
How trauma can show up
Trauma can affect your emotions, your thoughts, your relationships, and your body. You might notice:
Feeling anxious or on edge
Difficulty concentrating
Avoiding certain places or people
Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or fatigue
These reactions are your mind and body’s way of adapting to something overwhelming.
When to reach out for help
If you’re noticing that certain experiences, whether recent or from years ago, still feel raw or are affecting your daily life, it might be time to talk to someone. Counselling provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore what happened, understand its impact, and learn ways to move forward.
You don’t need to have a dramatic story for your pain to matter. Trauma isn’t only about what happened—it’s about how it lives in you now. And whatever your experience looks like, it’s valid.
Information for this blog was provided by registered provisional psychologist, Ashley Enzie. Learn more about our counsellors.
Take the first step and reach out for counselling today.