Season 3, Episode 4: Understanding Shame
Shame is a deeply personal and often painful emotion, yet it’s something everyone experiences at some point in their lives. In this episode, psychologist Lisa McIsaac helps us understand what shame really is, how it differs from guilt, and why it can feel so isolating.
We explore where shame comes from, how it develops over time, the impact it has on mental health and self-esteem, and why it can be so difficult to talk about. We also discuss how shame can affect relationships, contribute to anxiety and depression, and lead to patterns of self-isolation and avoidance.
The good news? Shame doesn’t have to define us. Lisa shares strategies for breaking the cycle of shame, practicing self-compassion, and reframing experiences in a way that supports growth and self-acceptance.
Takeaways: Understanding and overcoming shame
Shame vs. guilt—understanding the difference
Shame and guilt are often confused, but they are different emotions. Guilt is about feeling bad for something you did, while shame makes you feel like you are bad as a person. Shame often leads to feelings of unworthiness, isolation, and self-doubt.
Recognizing the signs of shame
Recognizing the signs of shame can help in working through it. Shame can show up as low self-esteem, self-isolation, avoidance, and fear of judgment. It can also make people feel like they can’t be their true selves, leading to hyper-vigilance.
Self-compassion is key
Self-compassion plays a key role in overcoming shame. Treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend can make a difference. Learning to accept yourself as you are can help reframe shame into an opportunity for growth.
Approaches that can help
Counselling can be a helpful tool in managing shame. Mindfulness and cognitive-behavioural therapy can challenge shame-based thoughts, while trauma-informed therapy can provide a safe space to explore past experiences and develop healthier perspectives.
Reframing shame as a learning experience
Reframing shame as a learning experience can support personal growth. Instead of seeing shame as proof of inadequacy, it can be viewed as an opportunity for self-acceptance. Working through shame can be uncomfortable, but you don’t have to do it alone—counselling can be a powerful resource for support.
These takeaways offer just a glimpse into the conversation about shame and how to navigate it. To hear more insights from psychologist Lisa McIsaac, including personal strategies and deeper discussions on overcoming shame, tune in to the full episode of Living Fully.