Loneliness on Valentine’s Day: why it happens and what can help
When we think about Valentine’s Day, it’s often thought of as a celebration of love and connection. But for some, it can bring up feelings of loneliness, even if you’re in a relationship or surrounded by other people.
If Valentine’s Day feels harder than you expected, you’re not alone. But there’s parts of the holiday that can be celebrated and enjoyed, even without a romantic partner.
Why Valentine’s Day can feel lonely
For people who aren’t in a relationship, it can be easy to compare your situation to others, which can make Valentine’s Day feel like a visible reminder of what’s “missing.”
Social media often shows an unrealistic version of love through polished photos, grand gestures, and moments that don’t reflect the full picture of anyone’s relationship. When those images are everywhere, it’s easy to internalize the idea that love looks a certain way, or to jump to thoughts like “no one loves me,” even when that isn’t the full story.
Loneliness isn’t just about your relationship status
Many people feel lonely on Valentine’s Day, despite being in a relationship. This can happen when expectations don’t align, when emotional connection feels strained, or when there’s a disconnect with your partner that hasn’t been addressed. Feeling lonely in a relationship doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your partner.
It can be an opportunity to notice what’s missing and approach it with curiosity instead of blame. Gentle check-ins and honest conversations about needs can help reduce misunderstandings and build closeness over time.
Small ways to make Valentine’s Day feel easier
If this time of year feels difficult, gentle, realistic steps can help make it more manageable:
Choose self-kindness over “pushing through:” It’s okay to acknowledge that Valentine’s Day might be hard. Try and find small ways to show yourself some love and kindness. Maybe it’s cuddling up with a fuzzy blanket and tea or watching a comfort movie while you eat your favorite meal. Small moments like this can help validate your feelings while protecting your well-being.
Focus on the basics: It might sound silly, but when you’re feeling down or lonely, it’s often the most basic tasks that get pushed aside. Remember to eat and drink water throughout the day, allow yourself to rest, and focus on something that you enjoy.
Limit social media: Be mindful of the content you consume leading up to and during Valentine’s Day. It’s okay to mute certain accounts or take a break from social media to protect your emotional energy.
Create connection in different ways: Valentine’s Day can focus on more than just romantic love, so try and use the day as an opportunity to connect with friends or family. Setting up an activity or get-together with loved ones can help reduce feelings of loneliness and create moments of meaningful connection.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to look a certain way to be valid or meaningful.
When extra support might help
If loneliness feels persistent, overwhelming, or starts to affect your day-to-day life, it’s worth reaching out for support. Counselling can offer a safe space to understand why loneliness is showing up, build confidence in expressing your needs, and explore healthier ways of connecting with others. Learn more about how we can help!
Information for this blog was provided by registered social worker, Krystal Blacklock. Learn more about our counsellors.