Your self-esteem can influence your behvaiour. If it’s low, you may shy away from opportunities and feel unworthy or incapable. When it’s high, you move forward and embrace life’s challenges with confidence. While it’s very normal for your self-esteem to fluctuate, if it is low for a long period of time, it can significantly impact your life.

Healthy self-esteem is a belief in your worth as a person, regardless of how others think or feel about you. It’s important to work towards a strong and healthy level of self-esteem so you can live with confidence, feel motivated to take good care of yourself and strive towards your personal goals and aspirations and be more resilient to overcome adversity.

Why does self-esteem change?

Self-esteem can be altered by many factors or life events. You could receive a compliment from a friend or accomplish a task at work and feel great. Or you could receive criticism from a boss or not meet a goal you set for yourself and feel down.

All of us face challenges in our lives and have an inner critic – that internal voice that can sometimes feed us unhelpful, negative thoughts. Both can affect our self-esteem. The important thing is to know what is worth focusing on and what is not. Being able to filter and discern what information is helpful and worth listening to so you can use to create positive changes and what information is not helpful and ignore it.

Here are some things you can put in practice to help with your self esteem

Positive reminders

This can be something you write down everyday or say out-loud.

Examples: Self-worth doesn’t have to be earned or proved; it just exists. You, as a human being, are valuable, no matter what your weaknesses and strengths are. This doesn’t change if you lose your job or get a bad hair cut or gain a few pounds.

Practice gratitude

Look for the positive things in your life, the things that are going well, and be thankful. Make a deliberate effort to recognize your qualities and traits that makes you unique.

Practice positive self-talk

Talk to yourself the way you would to a best friend. When your inner critic voice comes on, change the messages as if you were talking to a friend. This will help you be kinder and less critical and will help you have a more positive outlook on who you are and your abilities.

Practice an activity you enjoy

Whether it’s going for a run, creating some art, cooking a good meal, or playing with your children, make time for activities that bring you joy and take your mind off any negative thoughts.

Connect and engage with your community

Spend time with friends, family, and other people that lift you up. Having connection with others help us thrive. Don’t isolate yourself from those relationships.

Learn to forgive, not only others but also yourself

We all make mistakes and we won’t always achieve our goals. When we hold on to the wrongdoing of others or our own, we carry that negativity into other areas of our life. Learn from it, use it to make positive changes, and move on.

It’s okay to have good and bad days, that’s completely normal. As you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, be patient and compassionate with yourself as this process takes time and energy. On those tougher days, remind yourself that your hard work will be worth it in the end and that no matter what, you are valued and worthy of respect.

If you need some help learning the tools to build your self-esteem, we can help. Reach out today.

Information for this blog was provided by registered psychologist, Nadine Hynd, and registered social worker, Sarah Rosenfeld. Learn more about our counsellors.

How to build up your self-esteem