Season 3, Episode 7: Building a Healthier Self-Image
From a young age, many of us start comparing how we look to others—and those comparisons can stick with us for years. Whether it’s pressure to stay a certain size, hide signs of aging, or meet a beauty standard that feels impossible, how we see ourselves can have a major impact on our mental health.
In this episode, host Katherine Hurtig talks with social worker Sharona Pilmeister about where our self-image comes from and why it can be so hard to feel good about our appearance.
Sharona shares practical ways to shift your mindset, including how to tune in to what your values are (not just what society expects), how to rethink comparison on social media, and how even small acts of self-compassion can make a big difference over time.
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Katherine Hurtig
Welcome to Living Fully. Each episode is a chance to talk about mental health in a way that's simple, honest, and helpful. We'll share stories, tips, and tools to help you feel supported and feel your best. I'm your host, Katherine Hurtig.
We've all struggled with body image at some point, right? In a world where there are so many expectations about what we quote unquote should look like, it's tough not to let that affect how we feel about ourselves. I'm talking with social worker Sharona Pilmeister today, and we're getting into what shapes our body image, how it changes through different stages of life, and how we can work on loving ourselves more, just as we are.
Before we get started, I wanted to let you know that in today's episode, we discuss topics related to body and clothing sizes, as well as eating disorders. If these are sensitive topics for you, please take care while listening, and feel free to pause or skip the episode if needed.
Sharona Pilmeister
Hi, thanks for having me.
Katherine Hurtig
So it's been a little while since you've been on the podcast. Refresh our listeners. Tell us a bit about yourself.
Sharona Pilmeister
Okay. I'm a registered social worker. I've been with Calgary Counselling Centre for about two years now. In a past life, I worked with seniors in the mental health field. Now I'm here.
Katherine Hurtig
Excellent. Well, thank you for talking with me today.
Sharona Pilmeister
Thank you for having me.
Katherine Hurtig
And yeah, I think to kind of preface, I mean, everyone is going to have a different view, different thoughts about their bodies and the way they look. I guess we're going to kind of take it for the most part from the perspective of, you know, North American culture. Because, I mean, definitely different cultures, different backgrounds, different families. That all plays a part in how we see ourselves. But yeah, for the most part, coming at it from the North American standpoint.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
Sound fair?
Sharona Pilmeister
Absolutely. Yeah. I will make comments here and there about considering your own background just as a prompt. But yes, definitely North American.
Katherine Hurtig
Perfect.
Sharona Pilmeister
Western.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. So Sharona, why do we struggle so much? Well, why can we with our self-image and how we feel about how we look?
Sharona Pilmeister
It's all about social comparison. Comparing yourself to the culture that you were raised in, to the culture that you're being brought up in, if those two are different. Maybe religious aspects of how you should be behaving, how you should be looking, what success looks like, all of these things. And yeah, we're comparing to that standard and we're comparing to other people.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
And that's how we end up maybe struggling a little bit.
Katherine Hurtig
So why do we compare ourselves? Like what's subconsciously, what's the purpose behind that? Why do we do that?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think in a biological perspective, we compare to make sure that we can receive the love that we need. We have to be a certain way oftentimes to feel loved and cared for by parents, by community, in school, that kind of thing.
Katherine Hurtig
Does the way that we view ourselves, our appearance, does that change as we go through different stages of life?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think generally, yes. Probably regardless of what culture you're coming from, getting older is talked about. And so when I think about Western ideals, I think about hiding the way that aging is changing our bodies. dyeing gray hairs or getting Botox for wrinkles, that kind of thing. And then I also think about kind of our attitude towards getting older and how calling someone old is an insult.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
While in other cultures, getting older is a privilege and seen as a gift and you're filled with all this wisdom.
Katherine Hurtig
So it is very cultural, hey?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think so. Yeah. Based on what I've seen for sure with my clients. Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
And, you know, like growing up in this Western culture, I find that so unfortunate that there is this pressure to stay young and, you know, this feeling of like not being good enough anymore as you age. I mean, I'm not saying that I consider myself old by any means, but I mean, I'm starting to feel it a little. The gray hairs are coming in and things are changing and it's a weird kind of transition and pressure to feel.
Sharona Pilmeister
Absolutely.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Absolutely. And it's a societal pressure. Yeah. It's not that it's your brain just making things up. It's our culture that's making you feel.
Katherine Hurtig
That's sending us these messages.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Yeah. And how do different genders experience body image differently?
Sharona Pilmeister
So I'll say that all genders can experience body image issues because sometimes that is a shock to folks. And I think that if we look at gender as more of a spectrum, then what I'll say is for some folks, they're socialized in a way where talking about body image issues is less stigmatized than others. And the example that comes to mind is in Mean Girls, where there's that scene where all of the popular girls are in the room talking about all their insecurities. And when they look at the main character and they are expecting her to say something, too.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
And she wasn't raised to do that. And so she didn't know what to say. And it makes me think that for some people, this is an expectation. This is something that you do. You're supposed to feel…
Katherine Hurtig
Like to have some sort of issue with…
Sharona Pilmeister
Insecurity.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, insecurity with your looks. Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Right. Well, with other folks that I've talked to, having this conversation about, oh, I'm insecure about this, about my body or about my progress in life, that is uncomfortable.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
And they're told from a young age to kind of hide that. Yeah. And I guess that's not to say that those insecurities aren't there.
Sharona Pilmeister
Right.
Katherine Hurtig
It's just that they don't feel safe enough to have those conversations.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah, and it's almost not socially acceptable to.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
How can the way we feel about ourselves, our appearance, our bodies, how does the way we feel about it affect different aspects of our life?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think that it can be very broad ranging.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
Like I think about some folks who don't want to leave the house, whether it's about appearance or just feeling not great about where they're at in life, you know, if they've lost their job or something like that. I think about maybe having a difficulty connecting with others in a romantic setting, in a friendship setting, at work, feeling inadequate in some capacity. And I also think about folks who have self-image on their mind all the time, you know, like running through all of these times where they've screwed up in their lives. or thinking about fantasizing about this body that they want or hyper-fixating on what their body looks like in clothes, that kind of thing.
Katherine Hurtig
When I was about 14, I think, I developed a bit of an eating disorder. And like you were describing, that fits the experience to a T. It was just, it was an obsession. It was like all I thought about is looking this certain way like, I'm only going to be accepted. I'm only going to be loved. I'm only going to be, you know, deemed acceptable if I look this certain way.
Sharona Pilmeister
Totally.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
And I, I have a lot of empathy for that 14 year old self because that's kind of what society is teaching her. Yeah. That her physical appearance is what's most important. Her physical appearance is what will help her feel loved and help her be successful.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
So yeah, when I was going through all that, thankfully I had a very loving mother and she was able to pick up on the fact that these thoughts and behaviors weren't too healthy. And maybe, you know, because of my age, I didn't necessarily pick up on it as easily. But how could someone kind of pick up on trends of the way they're thinking or feeling and how can someone know that their self-image could be negatively impacting their mental health?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think about the important aspects in our lives. So I think about social connection. And if you don't want to reach out to friends or family, I'm thinking that's probably impacting your mental health. If you find it difficult to leave the house, I'm thinking about, you know, are you getting the movement that you need? Are you getting fresh air? Are you getting sunlight? Are you getting vitamin D? Like all of these things can impact your mental health. And I also think about if your body image is always on your mind, then do you have space to think about the things that make life worth living?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
Your cat, your hobbies.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Your friends.
Sharona Pilmeister
Your friends. Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
So we mentioned at the start, like we talked about comparison. And I think now more than ever, that's something that we're all doing in big part because of social media. And I mean, I think we all know people are posting kind of their highlight reels on social. They're posting the good things, the pictures of themselves that think look the best, the times of their life that are the happiest. Sharona, how do you see social media impacting the way that we see ourselves?
Sharona Pilmeister
Oh my gosh. In every possible way. Because you have access to any kind of content about any kind of lifestyle. So I guess one way that social media can impact the way that we see ourselves is if we believe everything that we see online. Right. If everyone else is living a perfect life in a perfect body and we aren't, we may start to question why. Why aren't we? So here's your reminder that photo editing exists and it's really powerful.
Katherine Hurtig
And that a lot of life happens beyond an Instagram feed.
Sharona Pilmeister
Absolutely. Yes. In terms of what we can do to protect our self-worth, I've been encouraging my clients to consider who they follow and how their content makes them feel. Which sounds like the most Gen Z therapist thing ever to say. But I'm asking folks to curate their feeds.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Well, that's true. Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Right. So I was talking to this one student. She's in her early 20s. She's getting her engineering degree. And the people that she's following are going on lavish vacations and have a giant clean house. And all of these things were making her feel really bad about herself.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
You know, her lack of time, her lack of finances, et cetera. And we started looking at who she follows. And these are folks who are affluent and who have the time to be going on lavish vacations. And so instead, she started following accounts that are about frugal fashion and frugal cooking and other engineering students who are also struggling and doing little study with me, TikToks and YouTube videos. And she found community in that.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I think that's so important to kind of do an audit of your social every once in a while. And I've definitely done that where you just kind of go through and it's like, okay, this content, how is it making me feel? And if it's not good, you don't have to keep it around.
Sharona Pilmeister
No, you don't. Yeah. Yeah. For folks who struggle with body image, I have another example. When I was going through my body image struggles, I found myself only following people who had very different bodies than me. And when I started to diversify the bodies that I was seeing on my feed and the different outfits that people can create for, you know, whether they're a size 12 or a size four, it started to give me this feeling of, OK, I'm not alone. Other people struggle with body image. Here's how they're styling themselves.
Katherine Hurtig
Or, yeah, like it's just if you're exposing yourself to that diversity of the way people look, you don't feel like as much of an other.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
You know what I mean?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah. Representation matters.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
We get to control our feeds. And I actually had to search for folks in different bodies because what came up on my feed was, you know, the size zero, the size two. And I'm not that.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. And how do you kind of differentiate? Because sometimes, you know, you follow certain people as an inspiration to what you want to achieve, whether that's their lifestyle or the way they look. Is that always going to turn out to be a negative thing? Or can it be a motivator? Does that make sense?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. I think that we can certainly take motivation from these accounts. I just, I think that where I would warn folks is, does the motivation feel good? Or do you just feel really crappy when you see them?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Like, are you actually, do you actually feel motivated? Or do you feel brought down that you're not that?
Sharona Pilmeister
Right. And I also consider, is what you're aiming for actually achievable? With the capacity that you have, the time you have, can we fill the shoes that we are trying to fill?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
Based on these other people that we're following.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Or is our motivation to do that even our motivation? Or is that what society tells us we need to do? And can we consider that?
Katherine Hurtig
And that point, that makes me think, is in a lot of my conversations with counsellors, the idea of values comes up. And that seems like it would be fitting here. Kind of that question, is it my motivation or is it society's? So how would someone kind of go about discerning that?
Sharona Pilmeister
I would start to ask yourself why. Why do I want to look like this person? Yeah. Why do I want to be like this person? Why do I want to look like this person? What benefit would it bring me to be like them?
Katherine Hurtig
And then, so, you know, if you were working on something like that with a client, what's the next step there? So I've answered that. Why?
Sharona Pilmeister
Right.
Katherine Hurtig
Then what?
Sharona Pilmeister
Then it's kind of like, is this valuable to me? You know, if I want to look like this person because I will fit into my clothing better, is that of value? Is that what you need to be happy?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
You've asked all these questions. You figured out these like value indicators. What is important to you? And then I would encourage folks to ask themselves in general, you know, does this person in this body that I really want, do I think that they're happier because of it? Because any person on this planet deals with hard things, different things, but hard things.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. No matter what they look like.
Sharona Pilmeister
Right. Are we are we creating a connection between having this desirable body and just happiness and fulfillment?
Katherine Hurtig
So we talked about kind of having a curated social feed. Are there any other ways that you recommend kind of limiting the unhealthy comparisons we have, like whether that's scrolling social media or out in the world?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah I would say that cognitive based tools or thought based tools can be helpful so one of my favorites is when I recognize that I'm comparing I'll tell myself that they aren't better or worse they are just different right and we're all different.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah I think yeah so much of the time we're assigning a value to something when it's just different.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
It's not better or worse. It's just different. Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah. A hundred percent. I'll also say that especially thought based tools like this take mental energy. And if you are scrolling TikTok for six hours, like many of us do sometimes, that mental effort, that mental capacity to keep your brain in check runs out.
Katherine Hurtig
Totally. Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
If we're scrolling for 10 minutes, yeah, I can tell myself, okay, not better or worse, just different and repeat it to myself if I need to. But yeah, I'm not going to repeat it for six hours straight.
Katherine Hurtig
No.
Sharona Pilmeister
At some point my brain gives up on that and that's human.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. So then that's, that's a whole other conversation about limiting how much of that kind of stuff we're exposed to.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah. And notice how I'm not saying get rid of it, go cold turkey, no social media. For some folks, that is accessible. For many of us, it isn't. So if we're spending two hours on social media and we can move it to an hour and a half or an hour 45, I'm happy with that.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I'm actually reading a book right now about kind of the process of assessing how much screen time we have and using, you know, smartphones and such. And I'm finding it really interesting and helpful. And yeah, Just kind of that process of assessing, like, is this actually improving my life?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
And it's, yeah, the book talks about the same thing. Not cutting it out completely, just being a bit more intentional about it.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. Intentionality is so important. And it actually can make it feel like a nice thing.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. And not something that you feel a compulsion to.
Sharona Pilmeister
Exactly.
Katherine Hurtig
Sharona, do you think the media in any of its forms, like, you know, social media or film and television or whatever, do you think it's made progress in more representation of, you know, different body types, different beauty standards? Or do you think we've got a ways to go?
Sharona Pilmeister
It's a we've made progress and we have a long way to go.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
I was watching a YouTube video the other day and this woman who identifies as a plus size beauty creator mentioned that, you know, five years ago, this would not be an option as a job for her based on the body that she's living in. And so that brings me a little bit of hope that I am seeing diverse bodies. At the same time, I think about all of the negative comments they get. And I think about how, well, maybe we haven't gone as far as I'm thinking that we have. So I think that we are moving forward and also we have a long way to go.
Katherine Hurtig
Totally. You know, speaking of unrealistic beauty standards, how can someone recognize when they might be by these ideas that aren't attainable?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think that in some ways any beauty standard is unrealistic. And what I mean by that is if we are all different, like we just talked about, right? But we have a standard for what everyone should look like or how everyone should be doing. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. There's something deeply curious there.
Katherine Hurtig
That's a great way to put it.
Sharona Pilmeister
That's my kind way of putting it. That being said, ways that we can start to identify these beauty standards that we're trying to abide by. Just look at your daily life. And sometimes ask the question why. Why am I feeling like I need to shave my legs? Why is it important for me to have a full hairline? Why is it important for me to have a tiny waist? Why is me being a certain height important or a certain size of pants? So then can't we just say that, you know, everyone is different and everyone is going to show up. Like everyone can show up as themselves and we don't need a standard to tell us who's attractive and who isn't.
Katherine Hurtig
I mean, and easier said than done.
Sharona Pilmeister
Of course.
Katherine Hurtig
We can say this all we want, but how does someone work towards believing that when they currently don't? You know, if someone's sitting here like, I don't like my body, I want to look this way. How do they take the steps to shift to have to have more self-acceptance? And yeah, does that make sense?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes, of course. I want to say that if you are listening to this podcast and waiting for me to give you that magic answer that's going to help you either get to the body that you want or feel acceptance, I'm going to say I'm going to disappoint you. It is a lifelong struggle for a lot of us. Yeah. Sometimes it's harder than others in different eras of our lives. But I do have two tools that we can consider to help start pushing this needle towards acceptance. The first one, celebrate what your body does.
Katherine Hurtig
I like that. Yeah. So it's not all about what it looks like, but what it can do for you.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. And I think that we hear this kind of dialogue and, you know, go run a marathon and celebrate your personal record time or whatever. I'm thinking, did you get off of your bed this morning?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
That took certain muscle coordination, your nervous system had to play some parts in this, your brain. That was a very complex procedure that your body just performed. Or if you took care of children today, took care of a household, went to work, went to school, there were millions of little tasks that your brain and your body performed for you to be able to live your life today.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. And that's pretty incredible.
Sharona Pilmeister
It's pretty incredible. And I would encourage folks to nerd out on it. Find a biology textbook, find a YouTube video that explains even how we take one step. It's crazy.
Katherine Hurtig
I really like that idea of focusing more on what your body can do. And I know like we've talked a lot on this podcast about how important and how physical health is to mental health and how movement can be such, it can really positively impact your mental health. I found that personally, like, you know, I've talked about how much I love running and that whole journey. It's taught me a million different things about my mental health, but one of them is definitely how I see my body for sure. Like I'm just so much more grateful for what it can do and a lot less critical. And, you know, talking about my, my struggles with food and eating, it's changed that as well. I'm not as critical of myself in that way. It's like, I need to fuel properly to, if I want to run well. So I'm not going to be hard on myself if I'm craving that cheeseburger. Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
Sorry. You had, so you said like you had a couple tools and one of them was thinking about what your body can do is there another?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. The other one is… again this is all brain work and talking about that capacity piece of sometimes we don't have the capacity to be thinking these different ways but if you do have some capacity you can practice calling out the beauty standards that you are trying to reach. I give the example of if you catch yourself thinking about your wrinkles, think about who benefits from placing this beauty standard in the first place. I think about the many millions of dollars beauty companies make on these insecurities.
Katherine Hurtig
Billions, probably.
Sharona Pilmeister
Billions, yeah. And that makes me feel a little better about wrinkles, about skin imperfections, cellulite, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So that's another tool. And all of these pieces that we've already talked about, setting time limits, curating your social media feeds. If you're watching TV that has commercials going, if those commercials aren't feeling good, just leave.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
Come back in a couple minutes.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, like making more, you know, we talked about being intentional, being intentional about what we consume.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes.
Katherine Hurtig
And how it makes us feel.
Sharona Pilmeister
Absolutely.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. And I think we've touched on this a bit, but maybe not explicitly. How can self-compassion and that concept help when we're feeling critical about our appearance?
Sharona Pilmeister
I think that self-compassion is the start to this work. To understand that we aren't purposefully doing this to ourselves. We are coming from a society that wants very specific things from us. And so having self-compassion for the days that, you know, we need an extra rest between gym days or softening our expectations for what we look like. You know, today getting ready for this podcast, I found a pimple on my face. Hooray. And I had to have self-compassion for that because otherwise, you know, a couple of years ago, I would have gone into this spiral of I can't believe that I, you know, probably didn't wash my face properly the night before. And here I am appearing on a podcast, even though people can't see me and I have this pimple. So there's that aspect. And it can also remind us that there's our existence beyond our bodies. Our self-compassion doesn't come from our physical body.
Katherine Hurtig
Right. Yeah. We're worth so much more than what we look like.
Sharona Pilmeister
Exactly. Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
In your work with clients, do you recommend the idea of positive self-talk? Like that can that can that play a role in kind of shaping how we feel about ourselves?
Sharona Pilmeister
It definitely can. But I think that sometimes this is presented as a quick fix.
Katherine Hurtig
OK.
Sharona Pilmeister
Right. So if I can look in the mirror and say, I love you 10 times and I will feel better. And maybe for some folks that works. I think for most of us, we say it 10 times and are just grumpy because it didn't help. So positive self-talk is a shift over time, it’s a shift that when two years ago, I would have thought about this pimple on my face and thought about it all day. Now, you know, in the morning I saw it and I thought, oh, gosh, really? and then I moved on and then I came to work and then I went on this podcast and I'm still talking about my pimple, but in a different way.
Katherine Hurtig
I think that's a really important point to make. Is that anything to do with our mental health, any kind of shift that we want to make there, unfortunately, it does. It takes time and work.
Sharona Pilmeister
And I think too, when we talk about this work in counselling, the changes are often tiny in the moment. And then we look back to two years ago and it's like, wow.
Katherine Hurtig
Totally.
Sharona Pilmeister
Things have changed.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, it really builds up and you don't notice it until you can look back.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yeah. Or maybe sometimes we never look back on the right things. Like if I didn't have this pimple come up today, I wouldn't have thought about how two years ago this would have been a spiral moment. Part of this work is actually taking the time to look back and seeing where you came from.
Katherine Hurtig
And really celebrating that, I think. Another tip is, I'd say, kind of keeping track of that stuff and celebrating even the small things that become easier over time.
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
Katherine Hurtig
I mean, the way we see and feel about our bodies, I'm sure that that starts pretty young. So how can parents start their kids off on the right foot? How can they at least help them have a positive self-image early on?
Sharona Pilmeister
Yes. I love this conversation. It is so important. Children are sponges. Yeah. the way that you speak about your body, their body, other people's bodies becomes part of their inner dialogue. And so what I like to encourage is for parents to do their best not to vocalize their comments about bodies around their kids. So I'll give an example. Even a quote-unquote positive comment like, wow, auntie's looking really skinny today. Auntie's lost a lot of weight. Highlights the importance of thinness.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sharona Pilmeister
But in terms of doing things maybe differently than how we were raised, read books with illustrations of different bodies or diverse bodies. Talk about what bodies can do, how movement can be joyful. Talk about the cool things about yourself, your kids, others around you that have nothing to do with their bodies. Wow, Auntie Carol is really awesome at cooking, isn't she? Wow, that scarf that she knitted, incredible. Look at all those colors. It reminds our children that our conversations within ourselves, about ourselves, can be more than our physical appearance.
Katherine Hurtig
Right. Yeah, if it's kind of downplayed, if it's not the focus of praise, then it's probably seen as less important, right?
Sharona Pilmeister
Or maybe it just doesn't come up. Yeah. Right? If we aren't taught how to do that, how to identify these other things, how to feel good about ourselves, if that's not modeled to us, we have to learn that as adults. And that's really hard.
Katherine Hurtig
If you have someone in your life, and I'm talking adults, like if you have someone in your life who know is really struggling with their self-image, what advice do you have there to help them, to speak to them about that, to speak around it? Do you know what I mean?
Sharona Pilmeister
Totally. I would say to start, be compassionate. Regardless of where you are at on your journey, they are on their own. Body image work takes time and having the time to work on it can be a privilege. You know, I think about the postpartum folks that I speak to who are feeling not great about their body that has changed. They don't have time to identify beauty standards. They don't have time to curate their social media. They don't have time. And we can't. I'm asking folks to be patient. Body image work is hard work. And if your friend or your family member isn't there right now, just be with them. And you can ask them what they need. Do you just need a place to vent? Do you need me to get you out of the house? Do you need me to tell you all the cool things about you that aren't about your body? What do you need? And if they don't know, that's okay. You can also help them fill out an intake form at a counselling centre. And I would also say that folks should be aware of how they're feeling in these conversations, aware of their own triggers.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sharona Pilmeister
Even if you see someone struggling, that doesn't mean that you have to help to your fullest extent. You can set boundaries. You can set time limits. You can set the precedent of what feels safe to talk about and what doesn't. And that's okay.
Katherine Hurtig
Any last piece of advice, Sharona, about anyone who's kind of struggling with their body image?
Sharona Pilmeister
I would just say, please remember that you are not broken. Your brain isn't messed up. you aren't illogical for struggling with body image. Just find a place to start this work and go from there.
Katherine Hurtig
Thank you so much, Sharona.
Katherine Hurtig
Thank you. Great chat.
Sharona Pilmeister
I enjoyed it.
Katherine Hurtig
You've been listening to Living Fully, a Calgary Counselling Centre podcast. Thank you for tuning in. This episode was produced by Luiza Campos, Manuel Montano, Jenna Forbes, and by me, Katherine Hurtig. A special thanks to Sharona Pilmeister.
To stay up to date on our latest episodes, be sure to subscribe. We're available in your favorite podcast app. Living Fully is a production of Calgary Counselling Centre and recorded in Calgary on Treaty 7 territory. Living Fully podcast is not a substitute or alternative for professional care or treatment. Calgary Counselling Centre and Counselling Alberta provide effective counselling to anyone in Alberta with no waitlist and no financial barriers. Find us online at calgarycounselling.com and counsellingalberta.com. For help across Canada and the United States, call 211. If you are outside of Canada and the U.S., seek help from your general medical practitioner.