Season 3, Episode 1: Reframe and reset for a mentally healthy new year
The start of a new year can feel like a time for fresh beginnings, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the pressure to reinvent yourself and set new year’s resolutions. In this episode of Living Fully, we explore how to reflect on the past year with gratitude and self-compassion, set meaningful intentions, and build habits that support mental well-being. Our guest, psychologist Lisa McIsaac, shares strategies for letting go of perfectionism, managing stress around resolutions, and creating a more balanced approach to the new year. Learn how to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth, identify what truly brings you joy, and focus on small, actionable goals that make a lasting difference.
Practical Tips for a Mentally Healthy New Year
Looking to start the year with a positive mindset? Here are a few key takeaways from the episode:
Reflect with gratitude
Focus on what went well last year, even in challenging times.
Make a mental inventory of joyful moments and personal growth.
Set intentions, not pressure
Avoid unrealistic resolutions. Instead, set small, daily practices like self-care or setting boundaries.
Think of goals as a practice to work towards, rather than an all-or-nothing change.
Let go of perfectionism
Celebrate small successes and embrace imperfections.
Allow yourself to have off days—progress is about consistency, not perfection.
Build sustainable mental health habits
Start with simple actions like getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying connected.
Take small breaks throughout the day and practice gratitude or mindfulness.
Reframe resolutions
Shift the focus from “achieving” to living in alignment with your values.
Remember, the goal is balance and self-acceptance, not reinvention.
The new year is an opportunity to care for yourself in meaningful ways. If you’re feeling unsure about where to start or need support, a counsellor can help you clarify your goals and build a path forward.
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Katherine Hurtig
Welcome to Living Fully. Each episode is a chance to talk about mental health in a way that's simple, honest, and helpful. We'll share stories, tips, and tools to help you feel supported and feel your best. I'm your host, Katherine Hurtig. This episode is about taking a moment to look back on the past year and think about what went well, even if it wasn't perfect. I talk with psychologist Lisa McIsaac about how focusing on the good, practicing gratitude, and being kind to yourself can make a big difference. Instead of setting big, overwhelming goals for this new year, it's better to start small. Daily habits that feel meaningful and doable for you. We also dive into why it's so easy to get caught up in perfectionism and how to let go of that pressure. You don't have to reinvent yourself every January. It's about finding what works for you, focusing on progress over perfection, and keeping your mental health front and center.
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So it's a new year and for a lot of us we take stock in the year that's passed, you know what was good, what was not so good, and also look to the year ahead. You know maybe set some goals think about what we want to change. So today we're going to talk to Lisa McIsaac and we're going to talk about how to go about this reflection in a healthy way, a self-compassionate way, and how we can set realistic intentions going forward. So Lisa, thanks so much for being here.
Lisa McIsaac
Thanks for having me.
Katherine Hurtig
You haven't been on the podcast yet. So tell us a little bit about yourself.
Lisa McIsaac
Sure. Yeah. My name is Lisa McIsaac. I'm a registered psychologist and associate director here at Calgary Counseling Center.
Katherine Hurtig
Amazing.
Lisa McIsaac
Thank you.
Katherine Hurtig
So let's get into it. You know, Lisa, when we look back on the year, how can we kind of focus on the good moments, even if it's had its challenges?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, that's a great question and one that comes up in therapy quite often, actually. As human beings, we have a tendency to focus on what's not working and often dismiss what is working and going well. I try to help clients identify what is going well in your life, to practice gratitude and appreciation for what is working, and take time to reflect on what they can take away and learn from what has transpired that is less ideal so that they can view them as opportunities for growth. You know, because sometimes things that happen in our life that is like an adverse event is an opportunity for us to look back and strengthen and have self-compassion in regards to how we handled that situation.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
So, you know, how our experiences can help shape our goals for the next year is important and to help people strategize and be more in alignment with the way that they want to show up in the world. So I also emphasize that, you know, re-examining their perspective, you know, around the event can also help and to help explore alternative perspectives that may be more helpful.
Katherine Hurtig
What does that work look like, like getting people to kind of change their perspective on things that have happened?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah. So sometimes people may be stuck in a narrative, you know, like that something that somebody did was because of them. So, for example, if a person was experiencing inter-partner violence, they might think, “oh, you know, I did something wrong or maybe I should have behaved differently or maybe I'm not lovable”. And so I might help them explore that person's behavior and attribute it to that person and, you know, have more self-compassion in regards to how they handled that situation, and be able to look at, you know, the strengths that they have and maybe some of their past experience that may have shaped those beliefs.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, it's a really important skill to build.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, for sure.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. So what do you suggest is kind of, you know, a simple way to reflect on what worked for us? You know, if we're thinking about mental health, what worked for us to be more mentally and emotionally healthy in the past year?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, it can help to make a mental inventory of, you know, the past year and what were some of the things that brought us joy… some good memories. You know, they can be really simple. What are we proud of?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, and is there a way that you can identify that you've grown and changed? You know, in a positive way?
Katherine Hurtig
I like that!
Lisa McIsaac
–because like you said, we tend to focus on the negative, but if we really intentionally pause and think about our accomplishments… I'm sure that that can have a really big effect.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. And is there anything that really stands out to you, you know, something that impacted you or really resonated with you in the last year?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
You know, and kind of bringing that to the forefront. And then looking at the year ahead, you know, I know we still talk about New Year's resolutions, even though that can be a slippery slope. But how can we, you know– instead– kind of reframe it, how can we set intentions for the new year that that feel meaningful rather than just putting pressure on ourselves?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, I think people tend to set really lofty goals in January, which can be overwhelming and a little bit debilitating. And that's why people generally will set themselves up for failure in that regard. I think it's important to remember to set small and tangible goals for the year, some realistic goals, set yourself up for success. Sometimes I will ask clients, you know, if you look forward a year from now, how will you know that your life has changed or improved or what would you like to be better? And if you can visualize that, then you can set small, tangible goals.
Katherine Hurtig
OK, yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, and try to set goals for like daily activities, you know, things that you can do in the moment to… like practice goals for change. So as opposed to like a big outcome, you know, what are some daily practices that you can incorporate into your life that will contribute to larger change overall?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. I remember that question from my own counseling experience. Like, you know, in a year or whatever, what's going to change? Like, what will your life look like? How will you know that you've made the changes you want? So I like that idea of kind of picturing the end result. Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah. And I find, I don't know, New Year's resolution is kind of funny because it's like a lot of people set this kind of all or nothing. Like I'm going to start going to the gym and I'm going to go four days a week and oh, you know, mid January, I haven't done that, so now I failed.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Lisa McIsaac
But it's, I think it should be more of a thought of like… something's better than nothing. So, if you've increased your like, if that was your goal, and maybe just thinking of like, if you've increased your activity at all, then that's, that's something to be proud of.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I agree. Sometimes, you know, it could be simple self care or self-compassion or setting boundaries … or learning how to say no.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah. You know, and practicing that. And I like to use the word practice a lot because instead of all or nothing kind of change, a practice is something that you implement and you strive towards and every single day you have an opportunity to address that, that goal or address that practice and reset. So, you know, if you do it day to day versus, you know, having an all or nothing kind of approach, It sets people up for more success and also helps incorporate that idea that, you know, it's not an all or nothing behavior. It's a behavior that you revisit and it changes and fluctuates with your mood. I mean, none of us show up every single day the exact same way.
Katherin Hurtig
No.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, and sometimes we have a lot of energy and sometimes we don't have a lot of energy. And, you know, the way that we show up and what we do is going to fluctuate.
Katherine Hurtig
So, when we're setting goals, how important is that to have like a positive mindset and perspective?
Lisa McIsaac
I think, you know, I hate to get caught up on the word positive mindset and perspective because sometimes, you know, it's about just self-acceptance. It's about accepting where you're at.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, so you don't always have to show up with positivity and be energetic. It's about accepting where you're at. And that in and of itself, I think, generates positivity.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. So even if you're not motivated, just kind of like, that's OK. This is where I'm at right now.
Lisa McIsaac
Well, it's OK to have a day when you're not motivated. But, you know, foster the idea that you can get up tomorrow and, you know, you can try again.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Do you think taking time, like if we're looking back at our past year, do you think taking this time to reflect can help with mental well-being?
Lisa McIsaac
I think taking time to practice self-reflection is really key. Being attuned to yourself and what you're feeling in your body, like where you're carrying tension, how you're feeling emotionally, how that's impacting your thoughts and how you're showing up in relationships, like it's really important. So reflection is also a form of practice and it's key to being self-aware so that we're showing up in a way that's congruent with how we want to be seen. Right? Like how do we want to be in relationships and, you know, and how we're in alignment with our goals.
Katherine Hurtig
Can you have too much of a good thing? Like, can you be too introspective and be focusing too much on what's going on internally? Does that make sense?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, it does make sense and, you know, that's a complicated question, because I think some of us are more inclined to be … to go inward and to be more self-reflective.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
I don't think that reflection is a bad thing, but I think if you're ruminating and overthinking and it's more worry and anxiousness, then that could be problematic.
Katherine Hurtig
OK. Yeah, that makes sense. And then as we're doing this reflection, what kinds of questions do you think we should be asking ourselves when thinking about like what we want for ourselves and our mental health in the new year?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah. So some questions that I like to to have with clients are like, how do you want to be different? Right? You know, what would that look like? How will you know if you're on the right track? What do you want to improve upon? You know, what brings you joy? Are you living the life that you want or could you do this better? And what does better look like you know, are you happy with yourself and if not how can you improve your relationship with yourself and other people? I like to choose a word that inspires me every year, so rather than a goal I pick something inspirational that I can aspire to and, you know, and I think about that on a regular basis and how I can incorporate that into my life.
Katherine Hurtig
What was your word this year?
Lisa McIsaac
Prosperity actually.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
And how did it go did it were you able to kind of fit that in?
Lisa McIsaac
I think I had a really great and prosperous year. You know I made a lot of changes in my life, I did some traveling, I spent quality time with people that I love, I picked up some really healthy habits, and I transitioned here and to this role so I would say that it was a very, very good year
Katherine Hurtig
Amazing.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, we touched on this before. I mean, a lot of people, they get caught up in perfectionism when setting the goals, like the all or nothing. So, how do we go about letting that go?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, so lofty goals can be overwhelming, as I mentioned already. And that people should set tangible goals and stop setting like too high and unrealistic expectations for themselves.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I kind of picture like the top of a staircase, like people pick that goal, but instead they should be focusing on like a couple steps up.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, exactly. You know and learning how to celebrate being in the moment and everyday little successes. You know, learning to be over appreciative of what is and stop over delivering. So, over delivering is like high performing, you know, high performing people and, you know, a lot of us are guilty of that, and me included. You know, we don't generally go get like higher education or strive to be in leadership positions and things like that unless you're really an overachiever. So, some of us have innate personality trait, I guess, that drives us in that way. So it's important to take into account, I think, the time and the resources that are required, you know, to complete a piece of work, you know, to try to set different expectations so that you're doing things well and you're doing them in a timely manner and you're not committing too much time and energy. And sometimes perfectionism can lead individuals to taking too much time for fear of not doing things right.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, so I think it's important to learn and practice letting go of control, delegating, you know, asking for help, letting other people do things, relaxing, you know, your approach and setting time for balance. So, you know, self-care, extracurricular and scheduling those things in and making sure that you prioritize them and take time for them so you're not just putting too much time and effort on your goals.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, yeah. Spreading out your energy.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah.
Katherine Hurtig
And then, of course, we're not going to accomplish everything we set out to. So how can we treat ourselves with more kindness when we look back on the things that we didn't accomplish?
Lisa McIsaac
Learning to let go and practice letting go. You know, I say to clients, you can't go back and fix it. So, when you're taking up too much rent in your head on things that are in the past, you're basically, you're basically sacrificing your time today for what was done yesterday. You know, so focusing on the here and now, and reprioritizing, and practicing self-acceptance, and compassion is important. Acknowledging what else you accomplished that year? Right? So, if you didn't accomplish that, what were you doing? Where did your time and energy go?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Lisa McIsaac
Right. What was purposeful and meaningful to you? And maybe sometimes, you know, other life throws you a curveball and other things take precedence and, you know, and that's okay.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I could see that. Like if you're looking back and you look at what you did spend your time on, then maybe it's just it's not that the goal wasn't successful, it just it wasn't the right goal and then it's a matter of kind of shifting.
Lisa McIsaac
Well, I think oftentimes we all anticipate what is going to happen, but how often does life really go according to plan?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, if life went according to plan, we'd all be in a different place.
Katherine McIsaac
So, I don't want to say that there's like a secret to building habits that stick, but are there ways that we can set ourself up for success when we want to build better habits, especially ones that help with our mental health?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, I think having realistic goals and strategies, you know, so meeting the person where they're at. Consistency is key. You know, you need to set up tangible goals that are meaningful to the client. You need to understand the client's motivation for change, right? So what's motivating you? Because if you're not really motivated to change or if there isn't anything that is driving you, it's going to be a lot harder to achieve that result. So it's important to find out what's meaningful, and kind of tap into that. No change is too small. I think that that's really important. As you mentioned earlier, I think people pick really big and lofty goals and sometimes they're just unrealistic and they set us up for failure.
Katherine Hurtig
And you only feel the accomplishment if it's something big.
Lisa McIsaac
Right.
Katherine Hurtig
I find like it can be hard sometimes to think like, oh, I sent that email that I thought was going to be hard. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, again, it's a perspective shift. Like if something was difficult and I did it, no matter how small, it's still a win?
Lisa McIsaac
Right.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, for sure. Sure. And accountability, it helps to have somebody, you know, who's supporting you or driving you. Clients will oftentimes say to me, oh, I need to book an appointment because if I have an appointment, then I know you're going to ask me if I've done this thing and I'm going to be, I'm going to, I'm not going to want to tell you that I didn't. So that level of accountability helps motivate people.
Katherine Hurtig
For sure. I think we can, we can often look outside, so whether that's social media or our friends and kind of compare ourselves to what they're doing. So how can we figure out what, you know, what healthy habits, what goals we want to set, ones that make sense for our life? How do we do that instead of just copying what works for everyone else?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, I think that there's a lot of peer pressure and societal pressure to be a certain way or to show up at, you know, in a way that is inauthentic, perhaps. You know, and I don't think any of us are really truly happy when we're spinning our wheels and striving to be something that really doesn't resonate for us. So, I think it's important to, you know, to do that self-reflection and to go inward and to understand what's meaningful and purposeful for us, you know, and to strive to be authentic and congruent and to make changes that are going to be in alignment with, you know, who we are as an individual and to be able to honor ourselves in that process.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. So, to kind of give, give the listeners some examples, what are just some ideas, some, some sample ideas of like a few small habits that you'd suggest to clients that they can add to their daily life, but can really boost mental health?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, I would say go back to the basics. You know, I think that the basics are essential. And oftentimes clients will come in, you know, and they're expecting something really big and profound. But I think, you know, you have to start with the foundations. Are you getting enough rest, right? Are you eating healthy and nutritious foods? You know, do you have a balanced diet? Are you socially engaged? You know, do you feel supported? Do you feel connected, you know, to other people? Are you practicing self-compassion? You know, are you in a positive mindset? Are you appreciative of what's working for you throughout the day? Do you reflect on, you know, your accomplishments? And are you attuned to yourself? And I think that sometimes those simple practices can be really important. You know, and apart from that, things like gratitude and journaling and … could be a two-minute breathing practice, you know, just settling down your parasympathetic system throughout the day and taking time to de-stress or taking a mental break away from your computer at work and going for a walk at lunchtime. So those really, really simple things, make huge differences overall.
Katherine Hurtig
I'm so fascinated at how connected the body and mind are. And then really, if you do go back to those basics, like getting a good sleep and eating well and exercising, how much that can change your mood.
Lisa McIsaac
Oh, 100 percent. You know, there used to be a project in central Alberta called Move Your Mood. And I don't know if they do this throughout Alberta anymore, but they used to work with youth and the whole concept was on mitigating the risks of depression and incorporating activities to move youths’ mood. And it had such a high success rate.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, so those little incremental changes can have big outcomes.
Katherine Hurtig
It's just the tough thing for sure. Like it does work so well, it's like you're not feeling like moving when you're feeling depressed. It's hard to get yourself, like to pull yourself up and get moving.
Lisa McIsaac
Oh, it absolutely is. But pushing yourself through that lack of motivation and doing the smallest and the simplest of tasks make a huge difference.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Society seems to kind of push this idea that we have to reinvent ourselves every January or that we should always, always be striving for self-improvement. How do we kind of push back against this and, you know, kind of weave in more self-compassion, self-acceptance? I'm really big on this one because I think it's like we need to do this so much more. It shouldn't always be about change.
Lisa McIsaac
I think that that's like that's a social construct and you don't have to buy into it for starters. Right?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
You know, you don't have to buy into it. It's also like the concept of Valentine's Day. You know, do you love your loved ones on Valentine's Day or do you love them every day? I think you have to give yourself permission to set your own values, you know, and your own beliefs and behaviors that work for you, let go of the expectations and pressures that other people put on you, whether they're, you know, from family members or society, you know, then that can be one of the most important and gratifying actions or gifts that you can give yourself is just permission to not subscribe, you know, so make up your own mind, you know, set your own values, set your own belief systems and, you know, and realize that you get to choose what ideologies that you want to subscribe to.
Katherine Hurtig
This idea of values has come up a few times. So how does someone take an inventory or kind of realize what their values are?
Lisa McIsaac
Well, that is a loaded question. You know, because, you know, we learn how to be in the world based upon our family of origin. You know, if you grew up in a faith-based environment, you would learn some of your values from your faith-based environment, if you had a specific culture, you would learn, you know, based upon your culture. So, I think that some of those things can be conflicting? And sometimes they just don't really resonate with the individual as a whole, which can create a lot of inner turmoil for people. A lot of the work that I do with clients is around identifying what those value systems are, deconstructing the ones that no longer fit for the client, and then identifying and reevaluating and reexamining the ones that do.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. Lisa, how do you think we can kind of balance the pressure to achieve or, you know, the, the desire to change and get better with our, like prioritizing our mental health and that self-acceptance that you talked about?
Lisa McIsaac
You know, life is all about balance and when you put too much pressure on yourself in one aspect, you know, something else is going, you're going to, the costs of that are going to be imminent, right? So I think it's always about balance. It's about what's the bigger picture, right? Like, why are you here? You know, there's this exercise that we learned in school years and years ago about, you know, what do you want on your epitaph? And I thought, oh, what a morose kind of concept to think about. But it was actually really impactful because it forced people to think about the end of their life, right? And I think in Western culture, we don't often think about the end of our life. Nobody really wants to think about that. But what it made people realize is that at the end of your life, it's very, very simple and basic things that are meaningful that you want to be remembered for.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
So, when you put those concepts into daily practice, it's about why are we here? What is our purpose? You know, we're not a Clydesdale, we're not a workhorse, and, you know, our achievements are not really what people are going to remember us for. You know, we're going to be remembered for our relationships and our impact and our kindness. And so it's about how do you strike that balance and how do you keep your focus on what's important? You know, on a day to day basis and not lose sight of that and get into and just performance based mindset.
Katherine Hurtig
Totally. Yeah, that's such a good reminder. And kind of one last question, Lisa, what's a good way to set goals or intentions without getting caught up in the fear of failure?
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah, I think that setting goals and objectives can be good. However, focusing on your journey, you know, your own personal journey and, you know, your growth process and your progress may be more helpful than focusing on specific goals and outcomes. You know, so the former is more adaptive. And I think it's gentler, like to be in the process and to be adaptable rather than maybe having a definitive outcome in mind.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. I, well, not recently, over the past few years, I've gotten really into running. And I found that that has taught me so much about mental health and I find that, yeah, what you just said there applies so much to that. Like, I set a goal of, like, a race, but it really is the journey, it's every race or, sorry, every run in between. And, like, some runs are going to feel awful and some runs are going to feel great. And it's really, like, yeah, the culmination of all of those little runs to the big one at the end.
Lisa McIsaac
I think that's a really good example and good for you.
Katherine Hurtig
Thank you.
Lisa McIsaac
You know? For being diligent about that and pushing through. But I think that's a really great realization, right? You know, you're competing with yourself, you're not competing with other people.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Lisa McIsaac
And it's about the journey. It's about the process. And some days are better than others, but you know, when you take a step back, and you look at the larger picture, you know, that's growth.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, for sure. Is there anything else about, you know, about reflection and setting goals for the new year. Anything we haven't touched on? Anything you want our listeners to know?
Lisa McIsaac
I don't think so.
Katherine Hurtig
Okay.
Lisa McIsaac
I think we're good.
Katherine Hurtig
Thank you so much, Lisa.
Lisa McIsaac
Yeah. Thanks for having me.
Katherine Hurtig
You've been listening to Living Fully, a Calgary Counseling Center podcast. Thank you for tuning in. This episode was produced by Luiza Campos, Manuel Montano, Jenna Forbes, and by me, Katherine Hurtig. A special thanks to Lisa McIsaac. To stay up to date on our latest episodes, be sure to subscribe. We're available in your favorite podcast app. Living Fully is a production of Calgary Counselling Centre and recorded in Calgary on Treaty 7 territory. Living Fully podcast is not a substitute or alternative for professional care or treatment. Calgary Counselling Centre and Counselling Alberta provide effective counselling to anyone in Alberta with no wait list and no financial barriers. Find us online at calgarycounselling.com and counsellingalberta.com. For help across Canada and the United States, call 211. If you are outside of Canada and the U.S., seek help from your general medical practitioner.