Season 2, Episode 1: Katherine’s Story
When you struggle with anxiety or depression, it can feel incredibly isolating, and learning how to navigate these emotions can seem like an uphill battle. Through the lens of personal experience, our host, Katherine Hurtig, sheds light on the transformative power of counselling.
On this episode of Living Fully, we’re turning the tables. Our host, Katherine Hurtig, shares her story about her journey with depression and anxiety. Before Katherine started working at Calgary Counselling Centre, she was a client and went through one-on-one and group program counselling. Together with registered social worker Sarah Rosenfeld, they delve into the impact of counselling on her emotional well-being. Discover what anxiety and depression looked like for Katherine, how she learned to shift her thinking, the different coping strategies she gained, and how the group therapy program at Calgary Counselling Centre helped her feel less alone. This is a story of personal growth, resilience, and the transformative journey that many of us are in.
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Katherine Hurtig
Welcome to Living Fully, a podcast dedicated to enhancing your mental well-being. Each episode explores valuable insights and practical strategies to help you lead a more fulfilling life. I'm your host, Katherine Hurtig.
Welcome back. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and a happy New Year. I'm excited to bring you a new season of Living Fully with conversations with Calgary Counseling Centre’s, expert counsellors about all things mental health. So for our first episode of 2024, we're switching things up a little bit. I sat down with Sarah Rosenfeld, social worker at Calgary Counselling Centre to talk about my mental health story. Over the years, I've dealt with depression and anxiety, and before I worked at Calgary Counselling Centre, I was actually a client. I worked with the counselor one-on-one and participated in a group program. So in this episode, we'll talk about what depression anxiety looked like for me and my own experience with counselling.
Today we are turning the tables a little bit and I have Sarah Rosenfeld here with me. She's a counsellor at Calgary Counselling Centre today. We're going to talk about my story. I'm going to tell you my mental health journey. So, yeah, thanks so much Sarah for being with me and chatting about this.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Oh, I'm so excited to be here with you and to talk more about your journey
Katherine Hurtig
Thank you!
Sarah Rosenfeld
I’m really looking forward to it.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah! I just want to normalize the idea of talking about mental health and hopefully help people see that they're not alone and that reaching out for help is a good idea.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That’s an Important message.
Katherine Hurtig
For sure. So I will dive right in.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Sounds good.
Katherine Hurtig
Ok. So we'll start right off at the beginning. I think throughout my childhood and adolescence, my mental health, it almost felt a bit fragile. It was, I want to say dependent on other people, I needed the love and approval from other people to feel ok with myself. I felt, I think sensitive would be the right word. I don't think I got the message that that was a good thing. Being sensitive and emotional and yeah
Sarah Rosenfeld
Empathetic, kind
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, as a girl, to a certain extent that's accepted, but I think I felt it was on another level, like you're too sensitive. And taking those messages and that definitely impacted me. I experienced everything with really big emotions and in my friendships and relationships I personalize everything. It was my belief that the way people talk to me, the way people behaved around me, the way people treated me, that was a reflection on my worth as a person. Positive or negative.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That sounds like a bit of pressure.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, a little bit and then when I was around 14, I went through an eating disorder. So that was also pretty difficult. I did have a really positive counselling experience with that. So I did get help and was able to get through that situation fairly successfully, but what I really want to talk about today, the part of my life that I feel had the biggest impact on my mental health was when I was around 19, I started a relationship with this guy and it was unlike anything I had before. He was awesome. He really- I felt he accepted me for completely who I was. Mistakes and all. And he encouraged me and celebrated my successes and I felt I could really be myself with this person.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's so heart-warming.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. I could be completely vulnerable. But the thing is it ended really abruptly and unexpectedly. So when that happened, I'm sure there are, I know that there are many people who can handle breakups well and learn from it and take it for what it is, that it's just, it's sad, but things happen. This to me, this breakup it was devastating. Because I felt I was completely myself with this person, he knew exactly who I was and decided to leave, I felt like “ok, there must be something wrong with me.”
Sarah Rosenfeld
That was the first thing you went to, hey?
Katherine Hurtig
First thing, automatic.
Sarah Rosenfeld
You didn't think there could be other reasons or that he was going through something,
Katherine Hurtig
No.
Sarah Rosenfeld
or maybe the intensity was too much for him. You just put it all on you.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. It's funny because those conversations are definitely ones that I had later on with counsellors about the situation, but no, automatically it's like there's something wrong with me, and I am unlovable. I don't like saying that this breakup was the reason for my depression. But I feel it was definitely a catalyst. For the next few months and maybe a year or more, I was definitely depressed and I felt out of control when it came to my emotions. There'd be times at school or at work, or at family events, and something would trigger me and I wouldn't be able to stop crying. I felt like I couldn't contain that sadness.
Sarah Rosenfeld
And that must have been really scary for you.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I noticed that I kind of went back to similar sort of behaviors when I had my eating disorder because that was a lot of that was about control, feeling that I was in control of something. I didn't go back to harming my body in that way, but just little things. I was obsessed with having a clean room and everything had to be pristine and getting the right exact amount of sleep. To feel like I had a bit of control because, inside, I felt very out of control, if that makes sense?
Sarah Rosenfeld
When you were having really strong responses and reactions and emotions, and it sounds like you didn't have a road map
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
to help you understand what that meant and so you turned it inwards.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, so thankfully, since I did have that positive experience with counselling when I was younger, I didn't wait too long. What I was feeling was terrible, so I wanted that to change. I wanted those feelings to stop so I did reach out for help. I was a student at the time I was in university and so I looked up. I found Calgary Counselling Centre and saw that it could be affordable for me, so I started working with the counselor and I don't want to, I'm not going to tie a nice bow on this. It's not the perfect, happy ending. But my initial work with the counselor I was able to learn a lot of tools to help to change my thinking. With my particular counsellor, through conversations with me, she decided that CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy would be a good route to go. And one of the things that really stood out to me with that was the idea of a thought record.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Ok.
Katherine Hurtig
Initially, I was so hesitant to it. I was like this is it just seems, very, I don't know what the word is, but the idea of sitting down and writing everything out like what I was thinking. There was a lot of pushback there, but once I accepted it and said, well, why not? It can't hurt and actually did it. I did start to see really positive changes. I think that process of really pausing and thinking about alternatives to your thoughts and not even necessarily- cause you're thinking of alternatives and negative thoughts, not necessarily positive ones, but just neutral ones. You know what I mean?
Sarah Rosenfeld
Absolutely. Things that don't have an immediate response or reaction.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, or a value, it's not good or bad. It's just like this
Sarah Rosenfeld
Is.
Katherine Hurtig
could be realistically, what's happening? Yeah, that really helped. And so it's a process, it's not like changing the way you think happens overnight.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I think this is really important what you're talking about. Because one of the things I think we need to understand about counselling is, yeah, it might reduce initially some of the overwhelm or a really strong emotion, but I really think about it in terms of scope, duration and intensity. So how much is this impacting you in your life?
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sarah Rosenfeld
For how long and how intense?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
And so if we can kind of start to reduce some of that, that's part of what the journey looks like. It's not, as you said at the start of our conversation, a panacea, and a fix all but it's where do I go to? What things do I try on? Who do I reach out to if this happens to reduce the intensity, the time that you're in that space and for how long?
Katherine Hurtig
Definitely. So yeah, I worked with a counsellor, one-on-one for a while and then through that work she recommended one of our group programs. At the time it was called break loose from depression. Now it's take charge of your life. That one again I approached with a bit of hesitancy, I had experienced group counseling when I was going through my eating disorder and that wasn't, I didn't find that very helpful, but again I just thought like it can't hurt. Yeah so I went In a bit hesitant but with an open mind and I was really glad I did. I think it's so important. I think depression, especially you can just feel so alienated and different, and I'm the only one who's thinking this way. The only one who's feeling this way. So I think being around other people, our lives were completely different, but we could relate and that we were feeling some of the same things.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's the power of group.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It's that ability to see other people, it helps you recognize that other people are going through similar things. The situation might be specific to you, but the feelings, or the way you're thinking about it, you're not alone in that.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, that was huge. So yeah, went through group counselling and like I said, it's not, the end, happy ending. I continue to go through periods of time where I feel like, you know, depression, anxiety are impacting my life. But because I went through counselling, I have the self-awareness to know, ok what do I need in this situation? And I can identify when I need to reach out for help again. So that's kind of my story.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I really want to thank you for being so honest about it. It takes a lot of courage to tell people what you've been through and what you were struggling with but I really value that you're saying there's still some times. There's still things that come up from time to time, and I think that's an important thing for people to remember. And it doesn't mean that they didn't learn things through counselling, it just means life gets hard.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah it took me a while to get there. I felt there have been times where I felt I was a failure or it didn't work for me, or I'm never going to get better. But yeah, I just, I have a different mindset on that now. Because for some people, a few counselling sessions, one kind of round of counselling I guess you might be great after that and not need any more help. But I think it's important for people to realize that sometimes that's not it. Sometimes something will happen later in life and you won't feel that you can handle it on your own and that's ok to get more help.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's an important thing to remind people, isn't it?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That it's a very individual experience, actually.
Katherine Hurtig
Exactly. Yeah. Maybe the way I thought about it was not universal, but very common. So I thought other people would agree, oh yeah, you only need this many sessions with a counsellor, and if you're not all better by then, well, yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Well, If you think about counselling in terms of other things that we access throughout our lives, right, whether it's going to a medical doctor, going to see an optometrist. As we go through different things in our lives, stress levels, age, our prescription may change. The medication we're on may need to be adjusted. Counseling is a little bit like that depending on what's happening for you, stress levels, what you're managing, new things coming into your life, strategies that have worked in the past and they don't anymore. It's about allowing ourselves to be fluid and flexible
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
about what we need and counselling can be that. It can be all of it.
Katherine Hurtig
It's funny how we think about a medical doctor. Of course there's your medication. This to be changed or that's no big deal that you need to see a doctor for that. But then when it's taking care of your mind and and your thoughts and emotions, it's, I don't know. There's a different view on that.
Sarah Rosenfeld
There is.
Katherine Hurtig
Hopefully it's shifting. But yeah, there's still that there is, there has. Been that stigma.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah and hopefully we're opening that. Up a little bit and helping people appreciate and understand it's kind of similar we're always changing and adapting and evolving. So why would our brains or the needs for therapy look any different? It's just giving ourselves permission.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, self compassion. That's something I've learned over the years and has been really important.
Sarah Rosenfeld
So thank you for sharing that. Thank you for letting me be part of hearing that.
Katherine Hurtig
My pleasure.
Sarah Rosenfeld
One of the things that we didn't really talk about, but I'm curious and wondering about is when we go through times we all have people around us that care about us, right? Our support system.
Katherine Hurtig
For sure.
Sarah Rosenfeld
So can you tell us a little bit about how did they support you? How were they involved in this process with you?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, you bring up a good point. Because again, I think a common thing with depression is that feeling of alienation. And I really felt like I was a burden, especially around my friends. I felt like I'm not fun anymore. I'm not a good time to be around, so why would you want to be around me? But I had an amazing support system. My mom. She was there for me completely and unconditionally. I don't know if she always understood what was going on or what I was feeling, but she was definitely there and wanted to give me what I needed. And I have two amazing best friends that I've had since high school and they were also there through it all and they would remind me constantly that I wasn't a burden, and that they loved me, and that I would be ok.
Sarah Rosenfeld
So people around you can play a pretty important role, right in terms of, even if they don't know the details of what you're going through, kind of being there. Sounds like you have this sort of I see warmth around you when you describe that people that really cared, they didn't necessarily know all the details. They didn't always know exactly what to say, but they kind of encouraged you to keep going and keep trying and keep doing the work.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I don't think what I was experiencing is uncommon. I think a lot of people who are depressed and feel that way like they're a burden. And yeah, that's something you really got to work on is not isolating yourself and don't shut people out.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Harder to do sometimes.
Katherine Hurtig
Of course, yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
How do people do that? How would you encourage people to seek that help to reach out even though they're feeling so alienated?
Katherine Hurtig
We talked about this with our national Depression Screening Day initiative about really breaking it down to simple small steps. With me, my thoughts could definitely snowball. It could go from my friend didn't answer my call and that could snowball to I'm going be alone forever.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah!
Katherine Hurtig
So it's really focusing on just the thing in front of you taking like 1 little step in the right direction. I know it's hard to get motivated when you're not feeling good, but it's doing things even if you don't feel like it. So send out a text. Ask to hang out. Give someone a call. Those little steps.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I love that. little steps.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Little steps add up to lots of steps.
Katherine Hurtig
It's true. I think that's applicable with a lot of other things in life, like exercise, and physical activity but it works here too. It's not like you're going to see these changes right away, but little steps add up.
Sarah Rosenfeld
And just continuing to keep moving forward and keep going, so even if you maybe forget to do the little step one day tomorrow you can take another little step.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, for sure. It's the self compassion. Don't beat yourself up for taking a few steps back.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Thanks for that reminder. Well, that's practical and pragmatic, makes a lot of sense. You've talked a little bit about it not being a panacea and there's still been some struggles. What are the things that you come back to that ground you, that keep you, and maintain you on this journey of mental wellness?
Katherine Hurtig
What a panacea?
Sarah Rosenfeld
A fix. It's not like this amazing thing that fixes everything.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sarah Rosenfeld
What would you want people to know about just day-to-day, what are the things that you do to maintain that wellness?
Katherine Hurtig
A few things. One, I've said before, self compassion is huge and realizing that telling myself if it's ok if I feel I've taken a few steps back, or if I'm going through a hard time and I feel like I can't handle it on my own. It's ok to reach out for help again. That's been big. It's huge that I think a lot of people underestimate is how connected physical and mental health are and really going back to the basics. The right amount of sleep, a decent diet, and exercise. For me, exercise is huge, it's critical to maintain my mental health.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's a really important one, the basics
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
and the routines, but you're also talking about something there that is a good reminder, right? Talk therapy is hugely important and plays a role, but there's these other parts of us that we need to explore when we're going through difficult times and physical exercise for you, you've discovered kind of opens up pathways, leads to more relaxation, probably helps ground you. It's really important that people figure out for them as you said, it's integral right?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It's essential that might not be the case for everybody,
Katherine Hurtig
Oh no, no, no.
Sarah Rosenfeld
But they have to find their thing
Katherine Hurtig
Exactly.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That is their essential.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, you made a good point. Yes, talk like therapy is one part of it. And this is something that is probably not easy for some people to hear, but you got to put in the work. It's not like you sit in the counsellor's chair for that hour, once a week, and that's it, and you're going to start to feel better. You have to put in the work, whether it's the homework that you're given from your counsellor, whether it's taking care of yourself physically, whether it's being social when you don't feel like it. It does take work and it's not always fun, but it's worth it for sure.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Thank you for saying that. If we want things to be better, we have to do things to help it be better. And a lot of times, the reason that we might be doing something in a way that's not helpful is because we don't know how to do it
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
differently, or we might be thinking it's helpful when it's really not helpful. And it's about this idea of, you talked about work, but I also talk about it in terms of experimentation.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
What are you willing to try and experiment with and do differently that you didn't before? Because maybe trying to do it that way is gonna bring you some of the things that You've been searching for.
Katherine Hurtig
I think that mindset is really important. Having the willingness to try because I think again a depressed and anxious mind you can think nothing's gonna work or I tried something like that before and it didn't help, but you have to experiment. You have to try and that's another point I wanted to make about counselling is it's a process with another person and you're not going to click with everybody. You're not going to have an amazing relationship with every person. So if you don't have a great relationship with a counsellor that doesn't mean that the therapy isn't working. That doesn't mean it can't work. It might just mean that you need to talk to somebody else and I totally understand that can be frustrating to be vulnerable again and again with different people. But that's a really important part is to find someone that you feel really comfortable with because that relationship is super important for progress and change to happen.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I couldn't agree with that more. It's really important that that connection works for you and people learn differently, they connect to different things that therapists do, whether it's tone of voice, or therapeutic approaches. It could be a whole bunch of different things, but giving yourself permission to try again if you're not getting, if the relationship part isn't working for you.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, because I've heard from friends and I've experienced it myself where you have a few sessions with the counselor and this is not working. And it's important to realize it's not the counselors fault, and it's not your fault, and it's not like therapy won't work for you, but it's just not the right fit.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It's about the fit.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, it's huge.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Because you need to be able to have the fit to do the work
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
and to trust that process, and if the fit isn't there, let yourself know that you deserve to have the fit.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
and the connection. That's gonna work for you.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah. It's not like if you went to a mechanic or something. It's like they fix your car or they or they don't. It's a relationship with another person, and you're not gonna be best friends with everybody in the world. You're not going to marry everyone in the world. That came across weird
Sarah Rosenfeld
No, no! I really know what you're saying.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I think you're saying for this type of work you got to be a bit picky, right? You gotta be a bit picky about what you know about yourself, who you connect with, what types of people work, right? Who are you more comfortable talking to?
Katherine Hurtig
Right. So a question for you, Sarah, then is for someone who is starting counselling, do you have any recommendations of questions to ask their counsellor to kind of assess if they'd be a good fit?
Sarah Rosenfeld
I'd want to know a little bit about their background. What have they done? Where have they worked? What's an area of interest or passion for them? I'd also want to be knowing how willing they are to receive feedback
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
about what's working or not working and why I think that is super important is because then it's a collaborative process where you can give and receive. I would kind of be trusting myself in terms of as somebody where I'm feeling there is something there that I'd be wanting to tell them more or if I'm feeling really guarded. There could be other things that you want to know about, right? What brought them into the profession? Why do they like working with people
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
and helping people? Some people see their work as a job and other people see it much more as a calling. Or as they're drawn to a certain purpose. Depending on what you're looking for, you might want somebody that's more boundaried, right? That they see it more
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, of course.
Sarah Rosenfeld
as a job and there's strong boundaries around it. For other people that's going to be, I need to have more of that connection
Katherine Hurtig
Totally.
Sarah Rosenfeld
and that's going to be the thing that's going to help me do the work because I know that they have my back or they believe in me or my capacity.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
So I think it's really gonna depend a little bit on what you need and what you know about yourself and where do you do your best? What kinds of environments are you in where you're able to do your best? What are the conditions?
Katherine Hurtig
If someone is assessing their fit with a counsellor, is there someone that you think you can kind of compare it to? Like, oh, my relationship with this person is pretty good and this is how we interact with each other. This is why that relationship works. I don't think it would be exactly a friend, because the counsellor isn't a friend, it's not a parent. It would be like, oh, I have a great relationship with this teacher.
Sarah Rosenfeld
I think a little bit.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Right? Because there has to be professional boundaries around this relationship.
Katherine Hurtig
Of course.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It is not a friendship. It is quite different. Although there are elements of that connection, that sharing peace.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah! I like that. There's elements of it because you want your counselor to like you.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah! you do and what I would also say is you shouldn't know that much about your counselor
Katherine Hurtig
Ok.
Sarah Rosenfeld
once you started the work, right? It's not a reciprocity of, oh yeah, I've had that happen to me too and let me tell you about my life story.
Katherine Hurtig
Ok.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's not what counselling is about.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Counseling is about you. You are the recipient of the services, and it needs to be focused on you and a little bit of relatability is ok. You should not know that much about your counselor and their life and what happens for them
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sarah Rosenfeld
because the focus is on you. That's why it's different than other relationships. But the same would be of a good teacher or mentor.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
They're there to help you learn and identify your learning style.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Give you things that allow you to be successful
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, to grow.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Because they know that's how you learn and grow. They're there for you. Does that make sense?
Katherine Hurtig
Yes, totally.
Sarah Rosenfeld
So we talked a little bit about the differences between individual and group counseling. Can you tell me a little bit about how those things connected with one another? Did you find them complementary? I know you said that you've done group counseling in another setting and it wasn't as helpful, but this time around it was.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It was about validating and supportive. Can you just talk a little bit about it? Sounds like you did some individual work. Then you did some group counseling.
Katherine Hurtig
Right.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Talk a little bit about that.
Katherine Hurtig
I found how Calgary Counselling Centre approaches those two types of counselling to just work really well. When I went into group counselling after individual I just felt like I had a really good base knowledge. You're putting things into practice, you know certain terms. I think you have a good base knowledge of the direction you're going. I think it kind of sets you up for success in that way.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah, so it sounds like what you're saying is individuals that orientation to what it looks like to who you are to some of the language, and then once you’re familiar with that, it's sort of like an additive, right? It builds on some of those things and then helps you socially in terms of connection, validation, and normalizing.
Katherine Hurtig
Well, I think even just setting it up the way it is like, ok, you're doing individual counseling, you've done pretty well, you've made these steps, you're progressing. The thought of, ok, and taking the next step forward it feels like progress, it feels like improvement, it's like ,ok, well now I'm moving on to this. Do you know what I mean?
Sarah Rosenfeld
Absolutely.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, you're graduating from individual counselling and going into group. Does that make sense?
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah, for sure, That does make sense. I like that. I think you can apply that to lots of things, right? What are the next steps? What are the things I look forward to?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
What are the things that I can do now? Cause then you're actually in a group setting and it will depend on the individual, but you might be talking a bit about your experience, or the things that you've learned ,or the things that you're still struggling with and then you get to hear how other people would respond, not just the counselor.
Katherine Hurtig
Exactly cause like you said, there are those boundaries there, but with other people going through the same thing it's a different conversation. There's a bit more vulnerability.
Sarah Rosenfeld
We talked a little bit about being open to those new experiences when you're learning.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Group can be part of that new experience. What did you learn? What did you like about it? What were the things that were harder?
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's going to look different than it would have when you did it just one-on-one.
Katherine Hurtig
For Sure.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Thank you. When you're not actively doing therapy, right? So you're just living your life. You're feeling like you're maintaining things. Are there any particular strategies, techniques, skills that you fall back on that help?
Katherine Hurtig
So exercise for sure. I found something that works for me. I know that exercise is super individual as well. I really love running, but I know that is definitely not for everyone. That's huge. I go back to the idea of a thought record, not in detail, I don't have a piece of paper and I write it down. Through counselling it became a little more automatic when a negative or triggering thought comes up to pause. What else could be happening? What else could this mean? That still happens all the time where thoughts come up that are self deprecating. That are really negative about me and so I have to consciously stop and consider alternatives. So that helps. I think having self-awareness and building on that and knowing what I need and being ok with it. I've kind of realized over the years that yes, being social is very important and I do have a lot of really great strong relationships. I love my alone time. So yeah, just kind of embracing what makes me who I am I guess?
Sarah Rosenfeld
A deepening of a connection to yourself is what I'm hearing.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
A better understanding of what do I need at this time? Do I need to be around people? Do I need to be by myself? Whatever that looks like is ok.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, that last thing, it being ok. That's been working in progress and I think I'm much more at that place, that acceptance, what I feel is ok, what I think is ok, what I need is ok.
Sarah Rosenfeld
That's amazing to hear that.
Katherine Hurtig
It took a while.
Sarah Rosenfeld
As things do that we really need to put effort and energy into.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It takes longer probably than we'd like it to. It's also important to keep going.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah, I know. That's the hard part, the hard message to get across to other people. Cause you have to sit in those uncomfortable feelings for a lot longer than you want to, but it is important to keep going and keep working at it.
Sarah Rosenfeld
It makes a difference.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
In terms of your quality of life and how you feel about yourself, and then what you bring to other people, other situations
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
In your life. If we look back on this journey, what are the final things that you'd like your listeners to know about mental health, acceptance, self acceptance, and reaching out for support?
Katherine Hurtig
Just reiterating some of my other points is really have compassion towards yourself and know when you're feeling it, it's ok, and treat yourself really kindly and realize that you deserve to feel better. I would tell people don't be afraid, or don't be hesitant to reach out for help. It's important to try new things and it’s not going make things worse to try to get help. Have realistic expectations. You will have to put in some work and you might not find the perfect fit with the counselor immediately. But it is important to keep trying. Don't give up.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Yeah. Don't give up. Stay committed to yourself.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
You stay committed to the life you deserve. I like what you said there.
Katherine Hurtig
Yeah.
Sarah Rosenfeld
You deserve to feel better.
Katherine Hurtig
Exactly.
Sarah Rosenfeld
And it can be better.
Katherine Hurtig
It can be great.
Sarah Rosenfeld
Absolutely.
Katherine Hurtig
You've been listening to Living Fully, a Calgary Counselling Centre podcast. Thank you for tuning in. This episode was produced by Luiza Campos and by me, Katherine Hurtig. A special thanks to Sarah Rosenfeld.
To stay up to date on our latest episodes, be sure to subscribe. We're available in your favorite podcast app. Living Fully is a production of Calgary Counselling Centre and recorded in Calgary on Treaty 7 territory. Living Fully podcast is not a substitute or alternative for professional care or treatment. Calgary Counselling Centre and Counselling Alberta provide effective counseling for anyone in Alberta with no wait list and no financial barriers. Find us online at calgarycounselling.com or counsellingalberta.com. For help across Canada and the United States call 211. If you are outside of Canada and the US seek help from your general medical practitioner.