“I felt very mixed up; I was scared my children wouldn’t talk to me”
Cindy and her partner had been together for nine years and had raised two wonderful children before separating. Her two boys – who are now 9 and 7 – reacted to their parent’s separation just fine until conflict arose between their mother and father. Three years after their separation tension began to escalate between Cindy and her partner, and the two young boys became angrier as it continued.
“I felt very mixed up,” Cindy recalls. “I noticed the behavior change in my children and became scared for them. I was scared they wouldn’t talk to me about what they were feeling.” Having heard about Calgary Counselling Centre’s Children of Divorce group counselling, Cindy decided to register. “I wanted to feel more secure, and ensure that even if my boys didn’t want to talk to me, they would talk to somebody.”
Cindy noted that the group atmosphere was extremely beneficial for both her and her children. Hearing other people’s perspectives, and offering and receiving encouragement from those in similar situations was extremely rewarding, and even fun. “My boys look forward to the group,” Cindy laughs. “They have fun and enjoy interacting with other children and participating in activities.”
Not only do her two boys have a great time at the group, Cindy has learned many valuable techniques that will help with stability of her family during times of conflict. “It taught me how to open lines of communications with my sons,” she says.
“The Children of Divorce group is definitely something I would recommend,” adds Cindy. “You can share as much or as little as you want, it’s very welcoming, and people just like you share their stories and offer advice.” Although Cindy recognizes that most benefits are long term, she has noticed an immediate improvement in the communication with her children, and their willingness to learn new techniques and make positive change.
Cindy, age 33