Becoming the best versions of ourselves, improving our lives, striving for greatness – these are natural aspirations people have. We have a vision of who we want to be and the life we want to live, but what’s the best way to get there?

Whether you want to get in shape, learn a new skill, climb the ladder at your job, or any other goal you want to tackle, a solid plan that maps out how you’re going to get there will give you a better chance of success.

Setting personal goals helps us create a plan and set the right structure to achieve the change we want to make. Goals can also keep us focused and motivated to make these changes. When we work towards goals, it can boost confidence and give us a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

But it’s important to set the right kind of goals - goals that will help us get where we want to go, who we want to become that are we’re able to achieve. So how do we do that?

Align your goals with your values

How do we decide what goals to work toward? Having the right goal is a matter of working from big picture to small habits. Start by looking at your values. Ask yourself why this change is important to you. How does this goal move you closer to the person you want to become?

This is also a good way to test if a goal you have may be unhealthy. Ask yourself if the goal is getting in the way or diminishing other areas of your life. If working towards this goal is causing emotional, social, or physical parts of your life to suffer, you may want to re-assess if this is really something you want to work towards.

Set goals that are realistic

So you’ve decided on a goal, one that lines up with your values – you’ll now want to make sure your goal is specific enough to give you direction and a way to measure your progress. People can stumble when goals are too vague or overwhelming. It can be hard to know what the first steps should be and how to know if you’re progressing. And on the flip-side, if goals are too specific, it can be difficult to see why it’s important.

Goals such as, ‘get in shape,’ or ‘build closer relationships with my friends,’ or ‘get a more satisfying job,’ are all positive, but they’re also quite abstract. An abstract goal usually has no clear end or way to know or measure whether or not we were successful.

You can turn an abstract goal into a concrete goal or break it down into smaller, concrete goals. Concrete goals are clear and actionable and can be easily measured to see if it’s working. That’s where the common acronym of a S.M.A.R.T. goal comes in.

An example of this is to turn the abstract goal of “get in shape” into a S.M.A.R.T. goal: “I’m going to run 5 kilometres, 3 days a week, for 2 months”

Specific – We’ve set out how many kilometeres we’re going to run, and how frequently

Measurable – We can look back at the end of a week and see if we ran for three days.

Attainable – This is a realistic goal that we’re able to achieve. An unattainable goal may be running a marathon, 6 days a week.

Relevant – This would be a concrete goal relevant to the example abstract goal of ‘getting in shape’

Timely – There is a date or time frame attached to the goal so you are able to assess if you’ve completed your goal in a certain amount of time.

It’s important to note that concrete goals are not stagnant – as you progress, these goals may change and evolve to move you in the direction of your abstract goal. So, using the same example, if in two months time you’ve been able to achieve your goal, you can increase the number of kilometers, frequency, or time period.

Remember that this process takes time and reflection – goal-setting is a skill that needs to be built. If you’re finding it difficult to achieve your goals, revisit them and make sure you have concrete, realistic goals.

There’s no such thing as failure

What do you do if you don’t accomplish your goal? It’s very normal to feel frustrated and discouraged when a goal isn’t met. But we have a choice in the thoughts that we pay attention to when this happens. We get to decide what thoughts to focus on that will help us achieve what we want. Instead of thinking, “I failed” or “I can’t do this”, try “how can I make this goal more achievable?” or “what can I learn from this?” It’s normal and common to think that we failed if what we’ve worked toward doesn’t turn out the way we want it to, but it is just an opportunity to learn, grow and try something different the next time.

Frame your goals in the right way

Setting your goals positively, in ways that add to your life will be more motivating than goals that take something away. We often create negative goals or goals that are trying to reduce something like quitting smoking or eating less chips. Instead of creating a goal that is stopping an action or taking something away, frame the goal in a way that is adding to your life – for example, adding movement to each day or including meditation in your morning routine.

If you need some help with your goals, we’d love to help! Reach out today.

Information for this blog was provided by Register Social Worker, Keara Gillis. Learn more about our counsellors.