In a child’s world, everyday is filled with newness – new people, new places, new sensations. They’re constantly learning and growing as they interact with the world around them and experience things for the first time. Sometimes, this unrelenting newness can be overwhelming. Predictability and consistency within a child’s day-to-day can help to balance some of the continuous stimulation that our tiny humans face. Establishing routines with your children can help them through all stages of development and into adulthood.  

Besides providing some balance, a consistent routine will help your child’s brain development. Structure and predictability in a child’s day help with their executive functioning – overarching cognitive skills that help to control cognitive abilities and behaviours. You may just think of a routine as a way to organize and plan your day, but routines are in fact, giving your child a sense of security. Children that aren’t provided with consistency and predictability tend to feel unsafe – they are put in a position where they have to try and guess what’s going to happen and be ready for anything – it feels chaotic. When the adults in their lives set the structure for their day – when to sleep, when to eat, when to play - then they don’t have to worry about those decisions. 

Some routines for your child are more important to have in place than others. A consistent sleep routine for children of all ages is critical. Children need about 9 to 11 hours of sleep each night and teens should aim for 8 to 10 hours. Work with your child to create a bedtime routine that helps them to relax and prepare for sleep. Include things like brushing their teeth, laying out clothes for the next day, and maybe one or two relaxing activities like taking a bath and reading a book. If a child experiences these similar steps with a regular time that they go to bed and wake up they’ll be better regulated and rested during the day. 

Unpredictability is bound to happen in our lives. Plans change, and as adults, we know we need to be able to roll with the punches and adapt when the unexpected comes up. It may sound counterintuitive but practicing consistent routines will help your child be able to better adapt and be flexible when needed. It’s best to find the right balance for you and your family – if routines are too ridged, then we’re not teaching children the skills they need to be flexible. And if there is too little structure in a child’s day and little predictability, they will worry and feel unsafe. This is when you’ll see more outbursts or rebellious behaviour. Learning both routine and flexibility will help children throughout their lives, at school, work etc. 

Parents and families can be creative about how they create routine and practice flexibility. There is no one right way to do it. Find the rhythm that works for your family. Learn more about how counselling can help your child and family.   

Information for this blog was provided by Registered Social Workers, Diana Izard and Angela Dore. Learn more about our counsellors.